Out of My Box

Could there be a chance for me to get to visit Indonesia? I've tried more and more to step out in my faith and obedience to the Lord and now, there could be a possibility that one day I could go out of the country to Indonesia. I'm not for sure Indonesia is the place I'll end up going, but I've accepted the reality that God could decide to take me far away and teach me some sort of lesson. Being part of His plan is a blessing to me. While I'm not certain what His plan is I'm still trying to step out and say, "Yes, I'll go."

What exactly does stepping out with God to go far off to another country mean? Let's talk about Indonesia for example. From what I know about Indonesia, there are several parts of the country that is considered "unreached" as far as it's people go and their knowledge of Jesus. What exactly that means idealy (other than they've never heard of the name of Jesus) is probably just as foreign as the country of Indonesia itself to me. Perhaps I should be researching the history, current lifestyle and cultures before I take the first step. Maybe I should study the language. Should I familiarize myself with Muslamic religeous beliefs? I wonder what they eat; I'm thinking it is either corn meal mush or hot and spicy foods. I should at least check out the countries climate, but perhaps I should better understand what particular part of Indonesia geographically I could be about to set my feet upon.

For some reason, I don't care. Does my not caring about all of these kinds of logistics make me less likely to be the right candidate to go? It isn't that I don't care, like I'm being rude and am uncaring. It is more like, I'm uncertain whether researching the facts would somehow further frighten me or cause me to respond differently to a possible open door to follow God in something He is doing. I'm confident that God will be in control and because I am so confident that no matter what sort of situation I find myself in that God is with me and will carry me through it - I don't want to ruin all the surprises for myself!

Certainly I'd like to understand just enough to not turn away those very people that God could be calling towards me to at least love and care for. For example, I understand it is part of the Indonesian culture for woman to be wrapped in some sort of cloth. I've been picturing an Arabic sort of colorful flowing wrap. I would prefer the light of the Lord in me to shine before the people and not the fact that I have hair showing on the top of my head or that I am wearing mascara. I'd much prefer to understand those weird sorts of things that could jump in the way of Gods work. Thinking on this as I write, if God puts the Holy Spirit in action, I could be all wrapped up cloth or hidden behind a bush and it wouldn't matter. My belief is that He WILL show up and speak to them no matter what I am wearing.

Now, this clothing wrap thing...I'm suddenly wondering about this. Not that I'm panicking, but would I need to purchase one beforehand? Do they sell them somewhere in America? Are some more fashionable than others and if so, what is the current style -and I hope it isn't busy flowers or pasley's (see, the American girl coming out in me again)? If I wrap myself in a white sheet would that do the trick? It reminds me of a Toga. Is that what it's called - a Toga?

Am I too immature about history and other cultures to step out? What I find the most enticing about going is just having some away time with God. Is that a bad thing? I want to follow after God wherever He wants to go and in America my mind gets all clogged up with the this's and that's that probably don't really matter. I want to see other kinds of Gods people. I want to see other sorts of Gods earthly creations. I want to admire more of what God put on this earth. I want to understand more about who He is. I want to see more of what He sees and while I can certainly see a lot of people in need, I just can't see as much and understand it as deeply by staying in my little square box I call Collierville.

Lord, I'm reaching for you. I'm reaching for you and I know your hand is already out. Pull me in and show me what it is you'd love for me to see. Thank you for involving me here now and involving me in whatever you might have plans for me to be involved in in the future. Help me to stay firm and be passionate about your work. Help me above all to put away the weighty thoughts that can carry me so low in life, but to find and hold on to that light you've showed me so many times. Help me to cling to you. I want that kind of joy that is everlasting that does not come easy for me and that does not come and go with every wavering human mood I might have. In my stepping out of my box towards you, Lord, in your name, I ask that you would fill me completely with an overflowing, uncontainable kind of perfect and balanced joy.